A million and one
by Beleaf
Summary: “The clicking of her heels has long become one of his favorite sounds, albeit he was never going to admit it, he found comfort in thinking that she was near him.” HouseCuddy.


**A million and one**

Pairing: House/Cuddy

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Only borrowing, has no claim to ownership.

Summery: "The clicking of her heels has long become one of his favorite sounds, albeit he was never going to admit it, he found comfort in thinking that she was near him." House/Cuddy.

Author's notes: The first House fic I've ever written and my first fic after absolutely ages. I'm a beginner at writing, so my grammar etc would probably be atrocious; any tips are more than welcome! I don't think this fic will be too long; it's concocted during a moment of pure boredom.

Last and most importantly, Please READ and REVIEW!

Chapter one – Starless sky

The clicking of her heels has long become one of his favorite sounds, albeit he was never going to admit it, he found comfort in thinking that she was near him. He was indeed very selfish. But that's no secret, the rumors that fly around the hospital everyday was enough to make everyone give him dirty glances. But they both felt the guilt; everyday it was tearing away a segment of their remaining emotions, both too proud to let the feeling go, both too scared. They act so strong in front of others, but in fact; they have been hiding behind a façade all this time.

'Dr House, what do you think you're doing here?' Her voice was quiet, but it was the strict, no-nonsense tone that told him Lisa Cuddy was not to be crossed today. He put down his play station, taking a moment to contemplate his answer, before finally answering.

'I would appear, Dr Cuddy, that I'm trying to give my self a break, something you ought to try someday.' He said coldly, the comment came out harsher than he anticipated.

She just stared at him for a moment; a look of pure fatigue was clearly visible on her unusually pale skin. She shook her head gently, stifling a yawn as she did so.

'Yes Dr House, I really should take your advice, but I really couldn't; seeing as some idiot of a employee just wouldn't do his job properly and I, being the person who actually gives a dam about other people lives, have to chase after him every five minutes, just to make sure that he'd make himself useful, just as he's suppose to!'

House looked at the floor, as if he had suddenly discovered something extremely puzzling and interesting in the checkered patterns. The sudden wave of guilt was not something he had expected when he pulled on his jacket and came to work this morning. He didn't want her to worry about him, really, he didn't. He knew. He knew the only reason he still had a job was because of her, because she felt responsible, and guilty. She never really got over his leg, although she knew it was what she had to do in order to save his leg, he still felt guilty. Lisa Cuddy was not a woman who would try and escape her depts. She felt she owed House, she felt it was her fault that he will always live in pain. She's the kind of woman who would try everything to repay what she thought she'd owed, and she has, she has given him more than she needed to. He always believed that a guilty conscience would be the downfall of even the greatest doctor.

Standing up from the brown mahogany chair he had been sitting on, he walked towards a cabinet behind a oval shaped desk. Carefully removing a bottle of red wine and a clear glass, he poured a generous amount in the glass, sipping the contents slowly as though he's savoring every drop of the red liquid. Holding a second glass in her direction, asking her whether she would like a glass as well, but she declined. A loud sign emanated from her lips as she turned around frustratingly and left, as if he was a hopelessly demented child.

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Lisa Cuddy, for the first time in many years, did nothing but stare at her plain milky white ceiling. She felt empty. She couldn't sleep, her mind wondered endlessly about the different possibilities that could have happened that night when she operated on House, maybe if she'd just listened to him and just let him be, he'd be alright… But deep down, she knew there was nothing else she could have done, though that's not important, but then, what is? Him. He still blamed her, still made her suffer every single day. She tried to make amendments, but he just couldn't see how much she really regret having to do what she did, not believing that she has indeed saved his life on that brutal day. Watching him walk into work everyday, watching as the rest of his faith is pumped out of him, a tear rolled down her cheek. No, she mustn't cry, he's not worth it; he's just a coward who blame others for the wrongs in his life.

Truth be told, she loved him, has done since her third year at medical school. She never had the will to hold on to him, they never had the chance to see if it would work between them if they tried. Lisa never was the type who would blurt out her feelings to anyone, or to drool over someone over a long period of time. She got use to House's presence in the hospital, and has learned to stop feeling protective of him everything something happens, most of the time, something he'd conjured up himself.

Pushing the switch which lies on the small table beside her bed, light was seen by her tired, red eyes. Lifting the duvet off of her body, she sat up slowly; shivering as the cold her struck her bare skin. Crossing her arms in a feeble attempt to keep her self warm, she strode to the kitchen, retrieved a bottle of water before unscrewing the cap and taking a sip, feeling the icy liquid trickle down her throat. She didn't return to her bedroom, instead she just stayed in the kitchen, staring out of the window. It wasn't a starry night, a few wisps of grey clouds were visible, but the sky was clear anyhow. The feeling of coldness abandoned her for a moment as her mind focused on the dark, navy blue sky.

A noise startled her. It was her doorbell. Being a perfectionist that she is, even her doorbell had the perfect little chime, that is not overly long and complicated, but a simple seven note melody that would cast an imprint on most people's minds. Confused, she didn't know who would visit her at this hour, but suddenly slightly afraid, perhaps someone was trying to kidnap her? Shaking her head violently, she tried to get rid of those unpleasant thoughts and tiptoed quietly to the door. She released one of the locks on the door, separating the door from the wall with only a small gap, she looked outside. No one. She attempted to close the door quickly when a foot slid between the gap.

'Lisa Cuddy! Trying to slam the door on your visitors head! That is absolutely disgraceful!' A voice exclaimed.

She recognized the voice. The irritatingly lovable voice. She felt as if she could slap him for turning up at this time in the night. But she also felt as if she could just hug him and … kiss him.

'What. Are. You. Doing. Here. House!' She hissed, knowing that he would probably have come bearing with another one of his extremely ridiculous yet hard to argue excuses.

'Is that the welcome I get for visiting a dear old friend?' House replied smoothly, feigning a look of shock and despair, before his pouting lips became a lop-sided grin. 'What are you just standing there for, are you going to invite me in or not?'

'Like I have a choice House…' She sighed dejectedly as she opened the door fully, allowed him in and shutting the door behind her. He limped straight into her living room as if the house was his own, Lisa was quite surprised that she still remembered the layout of her house, after all, he hasn't been her in quite a few years.

He sat down on the soft, cream colored sofa, scrutinizing her with one raised eye brow as though she was a newly discovered creature. For the first time, Lisa realized that she is only wearing a short, violet-colored nightie, hardly something appropriate to wear in front of a colleague, not to mention this particular colleague was House.

She felt a blush appearing on both her cheeks, and the color reddening by the second. He was still staring at her. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, most likely a sarcastic comment about her clothes, but instead, he inhaled deeply and closed his mouth; he was still staring at her.

'House, you stay exactly where you are, and I'll go and err… find a jacket. Don't you dare move!' She hurriedly left the living room and headed for her bedroom, she randomly grabbed a long, warm coat from a chair nearby, and wrapped it round her self quickly before returning to the living room, to her surprise, House was still sitting on the same spot two minutes ago. She sat down on the other end of the sofa and asked.

'Was there something you wanted, or did you just want to annoy me by waking me up?'

'Number one, judging by the speed you got to the door; you were obviously awake, waiting for anyone? And number two, there was something that I 'wanted'.' He took another deep breath before continuing, a look of pure nervousness crossed his face for a split second, he looked unusually stern.

'You don't owe me anything Lisa; I don't blame you for what happened.'

Those clear blue eyes of his avoided her questioning stare, she waiting a while for the words to sink in, it never really did. Her mind was in turmoil, did he really mean it? He has forgiven her? So many years she felt guilty, and finally one day, he came to her house at the middle of the night telling her this, why? Why is he saying this now, has he forgiven her long ago but just enjoyed the sight of her suffering? She felt anger beginning to bubble inside her, but realizing punching him is not the best thing to do at this particular moment, she simply diverted her gaze away from him and to the beige colored walls.

'Is that all? Because I really am tired and I need to be in the hospital in 3 hours, might as well try and have some sleep. I'll see you at work tomorrow Dr House.' She muttered gently as she left for her bedroom.

His gaze followed her disappearing silhouette, before he reached the front door and wordlessly left.

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The next day went reasonably smooth, or so she thought. House was avoiding her that was obvious since he was, for once in his life, actually doing his share of clinic duty and pretending to be busy with a patient when she's around. It was weird not having House moan all day and not having to go for the 'House hunt' every two minutes.

Someone knocked on her door. Judging from the way they knocked, she can tell that it wasn't House; he never bothered to knock at all, It wasn't a nurse or a doctor; the knock was too authoritative and confident to be one of them, she was sure that all her employees were at least a little scared by her.

Stacey walked in after a while, Cuddy hoped that she would just go away after not hearing a response, but she should have known that Stacey far too stubborn to do so. Thinking that she would just hurry this unwanted little meeting up, Cuddy forced a slightly distorted smile at Stacey, 'Hi, is everything all right?'

'Yeah, I just have these papers for you to sign, ones about Dr. Lockhart's transfer and the rest are complaints.' Stacey answered, looking at Cuddy suspiciously. 'Can I ask your advice about something Lisa?'

'Sure, go ahead.' Cuddy said as she leant back into the chair, obviously, her hopes of a short conversation were blown.

'It's about err….' Stacey stuttered, 'It's about House. You know our relationship isn't great at the moment and it's just err… it's just… just that I kind of… still have feelings for him. But what can I do, I can't exactly leave Mark, he's my husband and no matter what anyone thinks, I do love him very much. But he's not House. Everyday, I compare something Mark's done to something House would have done, I'd think, If he was House, he would have done this and that. It's not the same anymore. I don't have many regrets in my life, but leaving House was one of them… Lisa, House clearly still have feelings for me, I mean, he went to my psychiatrist and read my file for goodness sake! And I still have feelings for him, but I'm not sure if I should act on those feelings. If it was under any other circumstances, I would have chosen House over Mark, but I'm married to Mark, I never want to hurt him, I'm scared he would just break if I ever did any thing with House.'

Still leant back in her chair, Cuddy was in deep thought. What can she tell her? She wants House to be happy, but by letting Stacey wriggle her way back again, she doesn't think she can handle it. Finally deciding on a appropriate answer, she looked up and looked Stacey straight in the eye, wondering how her old friend could bring herself to hurt so many people, and spoke in an almost whisper.

'Stacey, what you decide to do is not up to me, just follow your heart.' And she quickly added, 'And try not to break anyone else's.'

Stacey, perhaps a little shocked at what her friend just said, looked crestfallen.

'You still like him don't you Lisa?' She asked, afraid of what the answer will be, but then she'd known this since a very long time ago, when she first met House, she could sense some chemistry between the odd pair.

'That is of no relevance what so ever, now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.' Cuddy retorted curtly.

Stacey left without another word.


End file.
